.P R I V A T E.
This is a private journal. Private, but not locked. My rules are very simple.
1) Respect my friends. If one of them leaves a comment that you don't agree with, don't start anything. Depending on how serious it becomes, you'll be de-friended right away.
2) Respect my opinions. If I update with something you don't agree with, fine. Share your beliefs with me. I am very interested! I will keep an open and mature mind about what it is you're saying. I expect you to do the same.
3) I do not tolerate drama on my journal. Don't do it.
4) I have no life due to a condition I occasionally talk about. That said, I try and find ways to amuse myself. FFXI being one of them. While it's just a game, it's a major part of my life right now, so expect me to talk about it often.
Very simple rules, ne? Comment to be added. Even with the notifications, I might not see it, and you wont be added back for that reason. I'll add just about anyone so long as you seem decent and are able to type correctly.
Yay~ My KoRn hoody is finally here. Awesome thing to wake up to. I wake up barely, to turn over, and see something that isn't normally by my bed; a big box. I blink and stare at it for a while before registering what I'm sure it is.
I love it. I ordered Extra Large, but I didn't think it would be this big. But that's okay! The bigger the better. And the inside is sooooo soft. It's very warm. But surprisingly I'm not feeling over heated yet. The air condotioner must be on high.
Couple nights ago I bought Intensity. Now I remember why I used to say it was my favorite book. I had read it before, but it had been qiute a while, and I forgot a lot about what happens. I'm a little over half way done with it now.
I also bought a Tenchi DVD, but.. that was VERY disapointing. It was only one DVD, with one crappy episode on it. I think the main thing that ruined it was.. Ryoko's voice! I almost cried. I love Ryoko's Japanese and English voice. The new english one was so terrible that I switched it to Japanese audio. Luckily, it was still the original Japanese voice Actress. I love her voice. It's soooo cute!
On an unrelated note, that no one will care about or know whf I'm talking about.. Last night, going after Shiki (yes, this is FFXI talk, you can look away now. Nothing important), some drama happened. I initially went there to help someone get drop, even though I need it too. But my LS saw I was there, and announced that they were on their way.
They weren't supposed to know. So the person who was helpiong the person I originally went there to help, left. I do feel bad, as it really was my fault. I shouldn't have gone. But, it's a good thing I did. It's amazing we didn't lose claim. They needed the help. We died on first try. I was sure someone else was going to get it, but no one did.
Then my ls showed up and .. kinda saved the day. We were able to kill it without dying, but there was no drop. Sooo.. we were going to try again today, to help the same person. But.. I forgot the TOD. ; ; I think.. maybe it was 4:29? or was it 5:29? I know whichever, it was definitely _:29. But really, that's not very helpful. Curses.
Found out my KoRn hoody wont be here until the 15th, according to an e-mail I got.
Um. that's all. i'm pretty tired.
Have a number of things stressing me out.
1) My aunt and uncle are probably getting divorced. I really really used to look up to my aunt. And in some ways, her and I are a lot alike. She knowingly sacrafices things (sometimes even unknowingly), and she used to be so ambitious about so many things. Was a nurse, cosmetic, worked in burger king, .. she's seriously been all over the job department. All before her mom got really sick. Then she had to stop everything. And things just got worse and added on gradually.
And my uncle, related by blood. He's been the only "father" figure that's ever actually stayed true to what father means. I mean.. he has let us down and stuff, saying he'll visit but doesn't because he's so dang busy. But that's just him. he's ALWAYS been like that. Which.. isn't good for my Aunt Debby while she's at home alone taking care of her dying mother and brother.
Now, my Aunts mom and brother are dead. And she has all this time on her hands. Meanwhile my uncle is the only one doing anything for his company to keep it going, and bending over backwards for people he's hired. Then when he askes for their help, they do squat. So HE has to work harder. Then eventually the company gets screwed over, and guess who's the only one trying to piece everything together as best as he can. Yup. My uncle. Everyone else fears for losing the company, but no one does ANYTHING about it. And then blames him when something goes wrong or gets repossessed.
So he has to put in way more time, and ask my aunt to help him with things he can't, and is never home to tell her how much he appreciates it.
2) My sister's MS has gotten worse. Her's is violent. The doctor said most people he knows who come back with MRI's as bad as her's are no longer able to walk until they get the stronger treatment for it.
3) even though my mom has quit smoking, I'm still scared and stressed out. If she hadn't have gotten checked, and continued smoking, she probably would have died within a year. I'm incredibly proud of her. But I know it's hard, and.. as much as I wish I could trust her, I don't. She could very well start again any minute.
Then other small stressers.
Anyway.. Plans for the 4th. Gunna go get Kaz on the 4th, if he stills does want to come by then. Gunna pick him up, come back, watch the show, have a party (or vice versa), sleep, wake up, go back to Pocatello to drop Kaz and Shaade off. Stay the night at my sisters, then head back in the morning.
Lotta travel. 6 hours in one day on the 4th. Hoping to be able to buy an mp3 player before we head out and NOT LEAVE IT ON THE FAIRGROUNDS AFTER THE SHOW. Might buy a red Zune. Shaade had a black one, and my god it could hold a lot. That'll have to wait until I get my next check though.
Oh, another thing getting to me.. Today is my Grandma's birthday.. July 1st. Happy Birthday, Grandma. Rest in peace. ♥
..on the plus side, I ordered a really awesome hoody off the offical KoRn store. Can't wait to get it.
Wanna pick up my TV, PS2, and copy of FFX while in Pocatello. Really miss playing that game. :(
I like Borders. I was able to return that second copy of FMWS#4 that I had. I don't remember being able to do that at Walden Books. I also remember that buying three books, you would have to pay like.. $30 something. Well I bought three books yesterday and only had to pay $21.
I really wish my bookshelf thing was here. I want to put all my manga away.
Yesterday my uncle was teasing me.. kinda. I know he was half serious. But he was like "Are you on that computer again? Come out here and say hi" Every time before that when he would come ovcer I would rush out there, so I don't know what his trip was with the 'again' thing.
But he was like "So do you learn anything on that thing, just pressing buttons all day?" (he encouraged me watching tv, because i can learn from that! But i surely can't learn from the intarwebs) Then my mom added in "Well, she's playing against and with real people" Then he's like "Oooh. so this is how you interact with other people. You don't need to go make friends or talk to people in the mall, you've got it all right here huh? You do everything cyberly." Then in my defense, she added "well, she wants to go see her friends and have them come over for the 4th of July." Then he said "well what for? if she just talks to them through the computer, it will be like they're right here!"
Then my mom said "I know! She could teach you how to use a computer!" My uncle agreed, saying that he knows nothing about computers. Then he was like "So how are your friends going to get over here?" I grinned and said casually, "Oh. Well I'm just going to have them teleport from their computers. You can do that now you know!"
We all laughed. Fun times.
Is todays Fathers Day?? If so, I guess we're doing a BBQ for my uncle Mark. Makes since. He's the only type of father figure that actually stayed true to it.
( tra la laCollapse )
So yeah, had my brother take me to the mall yesterday. Picked up Fullmoon 4 & 5.. which I already had a copy of 4, but couldn't remember, so now I have two. yay. Also got The Gentlemen's Alliance Cross 1. So far out of what I've read, Fullmoon is still my favorite by her.
And then after the mall, my brother and I got Subway and went on a little adventure on a low tank of gas.
Seriously, with how often my brother gets out, he should know this place by now. I don't get out much (more than I used to, but still), and I know this place better than he does.
We wound up getting on the high way and going to Eagle Mcall. If the dipship would have listened to me..!
RIGHT as we pulled into a gas station, the gas thingy started to beep. So we had made it just in time. One sign had said that there wasn't another town for about 15 miles, but then randomly there was a sign that said Eagle Mcall, next 5 exits. So yay.
And that's about it.
Okay. Here's a real update. I can't update with everything that went on, so I'll update about the things that really stick out.
Moved from Pocatello, again. Was living with Shaade for a while, but my mom wanted me to come back here because there's a school program online that she believes could help me. That, and I guess she missed me. lol I dunno.
But, while I was staying there, just a few days before I had to leave, Shaade and I saw an accident. We both turned around just in time to see a white car ram into the side of a guy on a motorcycle. Which.. of course sent him flying. For a good while he wasn't moving, which scared me, so, of course, I start crying. Then she parks and we get out, as do a lot of other people, and people try talking to him. At first nothing. Then we saw him lift his head and he was talking and stuff. Which made me cry more because I was happy he was okay so far.
When the police and people got there, as far as I could tell he just had a broken ankle and maybe a broken rib and some scrapes. No idea if there was any internal injuries. I'm just.. really really glad he was wearing a helmet. and I pray that he is alive and well.
The guy that did it, by the way, was a total jerk about it. He kept shaking his head saying he couldn't believe HIS luck. I guess maybe next time you should watch where you're going, huh? That way you wont have to worry about car inssurance or medical bills. Whudathunkit?
Also, as most know, I had to quit school a long time ago because of stress and stuff. I know, might not sound like much, but it is. Then eventually I got a job, but couldn't keep up with that either. So eventually I applied for disability. But then we were talking about moving, and people kept telling me "Don't worry about it, sometimes it takes 2 years for them to get back to you, only to find out that you've been declined".
Well, I had applied for that maybe around march.
Just a few days ago I called in as ordered by Mommy dearest to find out anything that I could.
Long story short.. I was approved right away. Which stunned my mom and me. We thought I'd get laughed at pretty much, because they normally only approve those who have an obvious problem. Like.. having to be in a wheel chair, or something like that.
And while I was tested, we didn't think High Anxiety would be enough for an approval.
Well, we were wrong. And apparently my Anxiety is much higher than my mom or I even knew.
Now all I have to do is apply for social security. Joy.
And that's pretty much all I can think to update about. ♥ ya guys!
I can't make a real post now, as I'm about to pass out. But if I have the energy I will tomorrow. I guess a lot has happened that I can fill ya guys in on. Or attempt.